Why do we fail even when we know we shouldn’t, The more we try the more things get out of hand but when we stop trying things fall into place i wonder why the universe has to treat us that way, in some way it makes me feel like our effort is not needed and we just have to sit doing nothing, but things we do still count to what we see but not to the universe because its just Energy.. and i wonder everyday why we make decisions on how to make things better for ourselves but in millions of time the decisions we make will find millions of disappointment, the shit looks inevitable everyday when you wake up to see another day, there is always something, someone somewhere that will be frustrate you, disappoint you,make you feel down or make you just yell… i have taken my self as a case of study and i love the fact that isolation made me realise so much about me, in this related subject i found out that everyday my brain run so fast, i see numbers so fast, and the arguement in my head never stops, i have a conscious and a sub conscious mind but i dont know which to trust, ever since i have done anything before i found out i had a sub conscious mind i have always done everything consciously, name it what ever i did growing up was conscious and it has helped me grow but now finding out i have a sub conscious mind, i try to study it and the more i get closer the more i get confused because most of the results are false… i would haved loved to explain this better but i hope with few words you all will grab to my point… everything i have done since kid was conscious and it helped me grow, but now finding out about my sub conscious mind it feels like i arose another side of me that just loves to argue and disagree with everything even when you try to go with the flow, what seem right before now does not seem right anymore, i have this continuos dialogue in my head like it never stops, in the middle of all this i try to ask my SELF, what am i suppose to do, what im i suppose to trust even when applying law of attraction, sometimes somethings come to you and you feel this is not for me and then it is, nobody wish to attract bad luck or losses or breakdown but going through life in between all this struggle we still get breakdown and heart broken, its crazy so so crazy because sometimes i feel my mind is lying to me but wait a sec why should my mind be lying to me, i thought it was there to guide me not to test me or mislead me.. there is so much that happen everyday with our true SELF that we dont even know, to a normal human he believes he should wake up eat bath work sleep and have fun, but that is just 1% to what happen to us daily.. without speaking to anyone you are talking, how? to your self because the convo in your mind never stops, it has comment to everything you feel touch or see, it brings so much suggestion you feel confused and you try to rely on sub conscious mind by doing what you think its right and then it end up wrong…

We can change our perspective, ideals and beliefs but does it really change the frequent or re occurent dialogue and disappointment that come along with life on a daily basis??

What help has the sub conscious mind ever render to make the brain or mind a liar or render useless ??

What part of us should we trust ??

What can you do everyday to avoid disappointment even at your comfort zone..??

Sometimes i close my eyes after been disappointed and i wish i could be the Auhor and a writer of me, design me into the way i want to feel, live and see.. because i dont want to do what others are doing to make them feel better i want to be me without no fault, failure, breakdown, disappointment and living a stressfree life..

But sometimes i wonder, theese words are they even real ? This visions are they real, are somethings just going to stay as fantasy ?

I inquire so much bout our true SELF but at the end of any session, i ask, whats the true SELF value in us when it does not stop anything in our fate.. either good or bad.

So many questions there are no answers to.

I hope this gets to someone out there, i will aprrecoate your comment..

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